TEN COMMUNICATION POINTS

                                                         Communication Power

    Have you ever heard of the 4-Minute Rule says that when you meet someone for the first time,

    you have about 4 minutes to be accepted or rejected by him or her. That means when you meet

    a coach, fellow referee, observer, or social friend, you have about 4 minutes to make a favorable

    impression on that person. In some games where an early controversial call it’s made, you may have

    even less time, perhaps only seconds. Scary, isn’t? How quickly we size the people up and in the

    same fashion we are also sized!

                                                   10 Critical Communication Skills

    Therefore, we better know what we are doing when we walk out onto the court during those

    first few minutes.

    You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression. Barbara Braunstein, nationally acclaimed

    motivational speaker and trainer, is convinced there are 10 critical communication skills which can

    make or break you in your drive to become the most successful official possible. Here are some

    do’s and don’ts.

    1. Eye Contact- In our business of officiating, direct and relaxed eye contact is essential.

        We must continually establish positive eye contact with our partner(s), scorer’s table, players,

        and coaches. Look them all in the eye, occasionally looking away to break the intensity.

        Positive eye contact enhances your image and floor presence, but don’t stare.

        You may give off the wrong signals and create unnecessary confrontations.

    2. Posture- Stand tall, shoulders back with your weight evenly distributed on both feet, Don’t slouch

        on one hip, or get locked into a habit of standing with your arms folded,

        or putting your hands in your pant’s pocket or leaning against the wall or sitting down during  a

         timeout. It can easily come across as sloppy, unprofessional or even arrogance.

     3. Facial Expressions- In general, a facial expression needs to be pleasant, neutral and relaxed.

         Coaches always complain about officials facials. Look at his expression. He had it in for me the

         beginning or If looks could kill you- or even- I don’t care to have that official as he/she always

         referees angry- that official is unapproachable. We have all experienced game situations where

        are facial expressions have led others to think we were irritated or happy when,

        in fact we were not.

     4. Obscure Gestures/Homegrown Mechanics- Avoid wild, sharp, jerky movements unaccepted

         mechanics or lack of mechanics such as flinging hands into the air, failing to stop the clock,

         going down on one knee, or NBA mechanics. The new wave of successful officials will be

         mechanically sound and will adhere to the manual or will have tremendous difficulty advancing.

   5. Voice-Your normal voice tones (speaking voices) are usually pleasant, neutral and relaxed.

       Your “game voice” however has to be more absolute confident, and in control. A referee must be

       a good finisher when delivering a call to the scorer’s table. An outstanding call is a great start,

       but the package is not complete until reported to the table. No matter how uptight, hurried,

       exasperated or nervous you are, the voice that will keep coaches and players open to what we

       are saying is the calm, self-assured, undoubted game voice of a finisher.

    6. Excess Verbiage/Verbal Garbage- Avoid “padders” like “OK, OK” “like um” or “ya know”.

        I got No. 22 on the hold or with the hold or Falzon(fouls on). Avoid apologizing for what you are

        going to say before you say “I’m sorry coach but….”

   7. Listening- An official must be a good listener. Sounds familiar! The last time you heard that was

       probulary elementary school. Listening, an indispensable tool for efficient game management is the

       most unemphasized, underutilized communication power skill we possess. Has a coach ever

       said to you “You’re not listening to me”? If so, the coach is probably correct. You are not

       listening, at least by his or definition of the word. Lack of eye contact, inappropriate

       facial expressions or gestures all signal nonlistening. Be approached.

    8. Content- Be clear, concise and direct. This does not mean being blunt or rude. Don’t quote

        rulebook selections. It is frequently counterproductive, creating a wall when your intent was to

        construct a bridge. It means pausing to collect your thoughts before responding to a coach’s

        questions or outbursts. Choose your words carefully using short simple words and sentences.

        Make no more than one or two points at a time. Don’t give a clinic. Get the ball back in play.

        Spectators came to see the players play, not an address.

    9. Timing- To exhibit confidence and control, your rate of speaking should be moderate not

        too fast or too slow. Officials, who speak too quickly or too slowly, lose their listener and

        create unwanted and unnecessary problems because the listener becomes bored or exhausted.

       Your composure and style when reporting to the table or confronting a coach, is paramount to

       effective game management.

     10. Distance and Comfort- Get a grip! When you cross that floor to shake the coach’s hand

           or introduce yourself to the scorer’s table give it a full, firm handshake. That is the only

           handshake. No fingertips. You may have sweaty palms syndrome because of nervousness,

          anxiety or both. Wipe those hands off on a piece of towel or handkerchief you placed in your

          pant’s pocket. Resort to imagery; picture yourself officiating  a flawless game, the sweaty palms

          will dissipate. Look the “shakee” directly in the eyes, that subtlety stakes out your territory

          as monitor of the game.

    Two Ways to Change- How can you find out whether you need to sharpen these skills?

    How can you improve? These are two ways to change.

    The first is to become more self-aware. Consciously think about these 10 things.

    Get more information. Bring them to your own attention and make some changes.

    This way is the most difficult as most officials have healthy egos and resist any technique modification.

    Second ask several fellow officials and observers for assistance, people who know you well,

    know your “irritating” communication habits but overlook them because they know and like you.

    Discuss these 10 skills with them and ask for their open and honest feedback.

    You’ll be surprised to find that you may come across differently to different people.

    It is better to hear it from your friends and fellow officials than to always question why you didn’t

    progress, don’t let you get in the way of the opportunity to work the big game.  

    Have a great game, and let the power to communicate guide you.